only if we run a train.
done.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
