I wish I could teleport
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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