I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Couch. On fire.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
