So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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