I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
