Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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