Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
