He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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