when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize