The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
