i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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