Whod you bang
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
