Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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