Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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