We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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