I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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