I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
