he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
