omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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