i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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