Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
