Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
