if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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