I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize