Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
