Yo dont text me then not text me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
