im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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