I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
