carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
pray to the hookup gods
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
