Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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