Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
