For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
why is half of my head shaved?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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