Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize