I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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