hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
