yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
