Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
