Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im holly from the hills drunk
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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