You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
