If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
