I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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