Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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