searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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