I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
