I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
