***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I need help removing her.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
