Your dad touched me again.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
