If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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