Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
sex in a hospital.. check
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
