I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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