she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
