In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
