I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
