And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
