This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
