I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
