I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
