...so i touched it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
