I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my being single is dangerous.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
