I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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